I was pleased to find that this week's ROH episode was NTS. Not Too Shabby.
This week the Honor Rumble decided a number one contender for Jay
(I can see now how easy it was for JR to make that mistake on is podcast ...)
And we also got a shitty tag team match.
They opened the show with Kevin Kelly introducing Jay Briscoe as the new World Champion.
Seeing Jay with the title again was wicked awesome. As was what champ had to say.
Apparently his first order of business is gonna be getting that custom belt from his first reign off of Mike Bennett and Maria Kanellis. He doesn't like that they have it or what they've done to it. Making it, "All Pink and Shit."
I'm not big on Bennett but I think Jay's reign is gonna be cool because that failed "SCUM" faction isn't around to make ROH unwatchable anymore.
The Decade isn't getting along anymore. Haha.
In a backstage green screen promo, we found out that another failed faction "The Decade" might be breaking up too. They agreed about teaming up in the Honor Rumble. But they couldn't agree on who would benefit from the partnership. BJ Whitmore thought he should win. Rodrick Strong thought he should. Jimmy Jacobs just wanted to keep the peace. Adam Page and Tadarius Thomas wondered why they were stuck with all those assholes. Presumably.
Moose and RD Evans w/ Vida Scott Vs. Red Scorpion and Grey Wolf w/ Prince Nana
By now RD Evans's unofficial and probably made up winning streak has passed the 150 mark. His partner Moose wanted to help him keep it in tag action. The two took on the new team of Red Scorpion and Grey Wolf.
I wondered if I died and went to the 80's in this bout. Two jacked dudes in face paint with a flashy manager? You'd think the redder one was Red Scorpion but I guess that's not the case.
All in all thought this match was pretty shitty. The only entertaining thing was when Grey Wolf decked Prince Nana by accident. Should we be worried that he was trying to hit Veda Scott? Probably, but at the same time, she's kind of a bitch and it's interesting seeing a crazy son of a bitch like that in a usually dull place like Ring of Honor.
The Twenty Man Honor Rumble
So we all know how Rumble's work by now right? Two men enter to start. Every two minutes another guy enters the match. Contestants are only eliminated by being thrown over the top rope and having two feet hit the arena floor. Last man standing wins.
This one started off with #1 Jay Lethal and Rooster fave, #2 ACH. (Attitude, Charisma, Heart.)
Nothing really happened in the first two minutes. Lethal and ACH just felt each other out. But then ...
Tadarius Thomas of the Decade entered at #3. It took Lethal a bit of convincing to convince Thomas that they should double team ACH. Lethal turned on Thomas two seconds after the agreement and the two struggled until Jay Diesel entered at #4.
Diesel eliminated a weakened ACH and Tadarius Thomas. Since Diesel and Lethal are both managed by Truth Martini, they decided to work together and eliminated #5, the Romantic Touch shorty after he entered the Rumble.
To avoid the same fate #6 Mark Briscoe didn't get in the ring at all. He started chasing Truth Martini around ringside until Jay Lethal came out to save his manager. Briscoe dropped Lethal and entered the ring, where he put the hurtin' on Diesel. Lethal eventually got back in the ring to help his boy but Briscoe had bought enough time so that #7 Adam Page could make his entrance and take one of Martini's men off his back.
I'll take this time to say that Briscoe's outfit is amazing! Camaflouge has been done before but never so well! And I bet it helps him sneak up on those roosters at that chicken farm.
Sometimes rumbles can become uneventful for long stretches. That happened here as a graduate from Ring of Honor's wrestling school, Will Ferrara came in at #8. Caprice Coleman entered at #9. Brutal Bob at 10. And Adam Cole entered at 11.
I thought the Karate Kid Crane Kick that Mark Briscoe hit Cole with was awesome. That happened as Hanson came in at #12. He's a big son of a bitch and he knocked Brutal Bob Evans out of the ring and spin kicked Caprice Coleman off the apron, eliminating them both.
Kevin Kelly informed us then that color commentator Steve Corino, home on maternity leave, tweeted him before the show. Corino wished for a competitive Honor Rumble for everyone, except for #13 BJ Whitmore who he hoped had a stroke.
Kyle O'Reilly drew #14 as Whitmore and Page worked together to throw Hanson over the top rope.
Jimmy Jacobs entered at #15 and got into a tango with Jay Lethal. Young Will Ferrara deftly elimated the distracted Lethal and also Lethal's partner Jay Diesel who charged him overzealously shortly after.
Being total shit heads, Lethal and Diesel dragged Ferrara under the ropes and beat him down something awful on the outside. He wasn't eliminated then but was shorty thereafter when he got back in the ring in a weakened condition. Adam Cole picked up the easy Will Ferrara elimination on a silver platter.
Such a shame considering how young Ferrara is and how well he was doing.
At this point I realized that Ring of Honor fixed their mat issue. For while they hadn't laid out nearly enough mats to cover the arena floor. No idea what the deal was there. Maybe they were getting them cleaned. But I'm happy to see they fixed it.
Roderick Strong entered at #16 and may have taken out fellow Decade member Adam Page on purpose. It could be that he was trying to clothesline O'Reilly and got Page instead but you never know with the current state the Decade is in.
Cedric Alexander was supposed to come in at #17 but for some reason the suspended Tomasso Ciampa came out instead. Tomasso immediantly started terrorizing ROH officals at ringside. Everyone got out of their seats except for play by play man Kevin Kelly. That was odd because Tomasso beat the shit out of Kelly last week, didn't he? You'd think Kelly would be the first guy out of there.
Eventually head matchmaker Nigel McGuiness was able to convince Ciampa to leave. No idea why Ciampa listened to him and I don't care. Ciampa sucks.
Roderick Strong then eliminated Kyle O'Reilly with a big knee. That's exactly when O'Reilly's tag team partner, #18 Bobby Fish entered the rumble. Too late to benefit from having a partner in there with him.
The real number #17, Cedric Alexander came out shortly after holding his head because Tomasso Ciampa's a sucker punching bitch.
The last two entrants were Chesseburger at #19 and Mike Bennett at #20.
Remember that Mike Bennett is on Jay Briscoe's shit list. He came out with Briscoe's custom belt decked out in pink fur.
Number twenty is the best number you can get in a twenty man rumble. You gotta figure Bennett and Jay Briscoe were equally psyched.
At this point I wanna bring up how boring Bennett's manager Maria Kanellis is. Yeah, she's hot but variety is the spice of life and she wears the same out fit every week.
Believe me, I don't wanna be sexist, but Maria is there for sex appeal. If she has any other talent ROH is not letting her showcase it.
So do one or the other, ROH. Give that girl something interesting to do or hire her a new stylist.
Cedrick Alexander came up from behind and eliminated both BJ Whitmore and Jimmy Jacobs as they were trying to push Cheeseburger over the top rope.
Bobby Fish and Roderick Strong eliminated each other after trading blows on the ring apron. Knocked each other the fuck out.
So the final four was Adam Cole and Mike Bennet Vs. the impromptu team of Chicken & Cheese. (Kevin Kelly's moniker, not mine.) I'm talking about Mark Briscoe and Cheeseburger.
No friggen idea how Cedric Alexander got eliminated. I am not a good reporter.
Cheeseburger got pushed to the ring apron where he tried to suplex Cole out of the ring. Cole simply pushed him out instead. Mark got up from behind Cole and just as easily eliminated him.
Then Bennett got up from behind Briscoe and won the Goddamn Honor Rumble. Ain't that a bitch?
A very weak ending to a decent rumble, I thought.
Was really rooting for Mark Briscoe so we could get a brother Vs. brother title match. I also really dig both Briscoe Brothers.
I guess Jay gets what he wants, a match with Bennett, so that's great.
But Goddammit I hate that guy.
Bottom Line?
Sometime Rumbles aren't very good. They tend to take away from in ring performances and create a lot of situations where two guys are just pushing each other along the ring ropes.
But they also create cool spots dramatic scenarios.
The Honor Rumble had the good and the bad of rumble matches.
But it held my interest and I thought the show was decent for it. Bottom line is the Honor Rumble didn't suck.
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